Step Two: The Agony of the Squeaky Voice

You've made it this far, but now comes the real challenge: silencing the squeaky voice within. Imagine a Muppet character with an Eeyore-esque whine that echoes through your mind.

Here's a step-by-step guide to quieting the incessant squeak:

  1. Practice, practice, practice! Sing your Muppet character's theme song 50 times in a row. The goal is to desensitize your ears to the grating tune.
  2. Replace your Muppet character's theme song with an equally grating, yet somehow more tolerable alternative, like the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" from The Nutcracker.
  3. Consider replacing your Muppet character with one that has a more pleasant voice. Perhaps a smooth-talking Kermit or a wise and venerable Rizzo the Rat.

And, if all else fails, try this:

Step Three: The Nuclear Option (aka, Just Give Up and Get a Real Job)

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